Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades – King David
Hearts – Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds – Julius Caesar

”The entire island of Martha’s Vineyard has gone Obama crazy. There’s even a cocktail that they’ve named after Barack Obama. It’s called the Obamarita. Not to be confused with a cocktail inspired by John McCain, the Cosmopoligrip. And then there was one a couple of years ago inspired by George W. Bush, the Mojidiot. Of course, there was the Bill Clinton Screwdriver.” —David Letterman

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers have in common?
A. All were invented by women.

Q. What is the only food that doesn’t spoil?

A. Honey