15 things you should never say to a women

That’s not the way my ex did it. You’re better off just avoiding the topic of ex-girlfriends in general, unless accompanied by phrases like “vastly inferior to my current girlfriend.”

You sure you wanna eat that? If she wasn’t sure, she wouldn’t have ordered it. And are you sure you want to question her diet, Mr. Nacho, Wings and Beer Belly?

Is it that time of the month? Blaming a woman’s anger on her period is the quickest way to ensure her rage will now be focused on you. It doesn’t matter if she blows up at you like clockwork every 28 days — just don’t say it.

When are you due? Unless her belly is indisputably housing a baby, never assume a woman is pregnant. We will, however, accept offers of seats even if we’re just bloated.

The “b” word, ever. Calling a woman a “bitch” (or worse) in any context is just not OK. We will flip out.

So how old are you? Old enough to know not to ask rude questions.

You sound just like your mother. Are you insulting us, or our mothers? Both? Oh, it’s on.

You’re cute when you’re mad. You are not cute when you are being patronizing!

What did you do to your hair? If you’re asking because you don’t like it, it’s too late. And if you’re asking because you really can’t tell, pay more attention!

Why aren’t you married? There is no right answer to this question. Either nobody’s asked us, or we just don’t want to be. Either way, is it any of your business?

You’re being irrational. To a woman, words like “irrational” and “emotional” are loaded with double meanings. You’re better off choosing an adjective not loaded with sexist tripwires.

Your best friend is really hot. We know she’s hot, but telling us you think so is the quickest way to never see her again.

Can I kiss you? Don’t suck all the spontaneity out of the moment by asking, just go for it! If we’re not into it, we’ll let you know.

You aren’t one of those feminists, are you? You aren’t one of those guys who enjoys sleeping on the couch, are you?

Smile. There is nothing more infuriating than being told to “Smile” when you don’t feel like it.. Aren’t we allowed to have a bad day?