3 Ways Strong, Successful Women Fail with Men

By Rori Raye

Are you a woman with a lot going for her in all areas… except in love and relationships? Do men stop calling or withdraw after a few dates or tell you they’re not interested or don’t feel the right chemistry with you? Your intelligence and ambition may have gotten you where you are in your life and career, so why aren’t those qualities attractive to a man, too?

The truth is that success and independence are actually attractive qualities to a man. Men are not intimidated by smart women. They can, however, be intimidated and turned off by the way you’re relating to him. You may be failing in love because of your energy, not because you’re smart and have your act together.

Way to Fail #1 – Emasculate a Man by Out-Manning Him>
If you’re a successful woman, revel in your success and happiness! Run everything at work, be firm, be tough, be managerial and multi-tasking. But when you’re on a date with a man, or at home, or hanging out together, don’t try to run or manage him.

There are subtle ways you may be doing this. For example, he’ll tell you about a problem he’s having and you say, “You should do this…” or “If I were you, I wouldn’t do that…” This makes him feel managed – like he’s a child and you’re his mother. This isn’t a good feeling for a man. He wants to feel respected and admired, not mothered. You can let a man know what you want and need by simply saying, “I’d like that” or “I don’t want that” or “That would feel good to me.”

One sure way to lose a man’s interest is to play down our strengths, successes and abilities because we think that men are competitive and want to be better than we are at everything. It’s simply not true!

Way To Fail #2 – Try to Manage The Course of the Relationship
Being a woman means taking charge of your own life, but letting him run the relationship.

If that sounds odd and unfair, here’s a new way to look at this: When a man pulls away from us, going after him and trying to “talk it out” to get him back full-force again is the kiss of death for your relationship, not the spark that will re-ignite it.

Save management for your life outside your relationship with a man – your time, your money, your work, your environment.

But the next time you’re tempted to control where the relationship is going – stop yourself. Look inside your heart and body to find and share what you feel instead.

Way To Fail #3 – Do Too Much.
One drawback to being an accomplished, smart woman is that you know how to get a whole lot done. It’s just easier sometimes to do it yourself than to wait for him to do it.

The cure for this is to learn to be surprised by a man, and not work so hard to make things happen. Let him decide where he wants it to go. It’s always your choice to leave if you don’t like where things are going (or not going).

I’ve always been a woman who instinctively wants to take charge, and the way I was using those real, genuine strengths was killing my relationships with the men I loved. Over time, I learned how to harness my masculine, take-charge energy to become successful in my work, while basically giving up controlling a man in any way. This is what turned everything around for me nearly overnight.

http://www.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/love/3-ways-strong-women-fail.html

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