6 Ways to Feel Closer Right Now

You don’t have to add an extra hour to the day to find time for each other. These six fun strategies can keep you connected immediately.

By Sarì Harrar and Rita DeMaria, Ph.D. from The 7 Stages of Marriage

1. Be funny. Kind-spirited humor can douse a hot argument, head off a fight, and turn the drudgery of household responsibilities and planning into something witty, smart, and hilarious. Stick with warm humor; sarcasm and snide remarks aren’t relationship-builders.

2. Be kissy. Saluting your spouse with a longer-than-usual kiss in the morning, at the end of the workday, and before you say good night telegraphs the good news that you still find him or her irresistible and wonderful.

3. Be appreciative. You can never appreciate your spouse too much. He or she needs to hear how much you admire the way he or she gets the bills paid, organizes the kids’ activities, made that tasty shrimp scampi last night, rewired the basement, cleared out three months’ worth of old magazines from beside the couch, or got the trash out to the curb just in time for pickup.

4. Be surprising. Bring home an unexpected little gift. Get the car serviced before he changes the oil. Deliver breakfast in bed next Saturday.

5. Be historical. Play the songs you two loved best when you were courting. Bring out your wedding album after dinner and leaf through it together. Bring up the good times from your past — you’ll both get a glow and feel lifted up as you remember your passion.

6. Be forgetful. Forgive your spouse’s human shortcomings, then forget them. Nobody’s perfect, especially under stress. (Hmmm … could that include you?) Graciously overlooking flaws, errors, and gaffes sets a sweetly gracious tone for your relationship.

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